30 Days of Power

personal power

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

 Alice Walker

January to me has always been a powerful month.  It is the month of new beginnings, fresh starts; where sown intentions start to bloom.  So it’s only fitting that January is the month I am choose to work on the first of the 3 P’s: Power.

As I’ve said before the journey to here hasn’t always been a smooth one.  Don’t get me wrong, I have led a beautiful and privileged life.  But when I reflect back on the concept of power in my life, I have to admit that there were a lot of years where I have tricked myself into existing in a powerless state.  So here’s my theory when it comes the first “P”: powerlessness only occurs when a person chooses to give up their power. When I look back on the situations that made me feel the most powerless, I realize these were the times I gave my power away.

Now let me clarify, I’m not saying bad things don’t happen to good people.  We can all be victimized, we can experience tragedy; and life can throw us a curveball that drops us to our knees.  But no matter how bleak,  or how horrible a situation may be, remembering the power each one of us possesses, along with the other P’s can get us through any situation.

So January begins my month of POWER.  A month where I practice what I preach and get up close and personal with the concept. I’m going to tackle the concept of power in 3 ways: 1) Challenging unhealthy beliefs that lead to powerlessness 2) Developing a concept of physical strength by exercise and healthy living and finally 3) Speaking the (my) truth about who I am and what I need and don’t need in my life.

And so it begins…

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“Out of My Mind. Just in Time”

Black woman

At 34 I’ve lost my mind.  I’m writing a blog.  I’m writing a blog while wearing a shirt that says “more people have read this shirt than your blog.”  As the title to one of my favorite Erykah Badu songs says; “I’m out of my mind.”

In a world of self absorption and narcissism how am I any different from the generation of folks who Instagram their salad or Facebook post every-single-one of their feelings during the day?  I guess I’m not any different.  But today I decided that maybe I have something to say.  I have a truth to tell, not just about myself, but a truth maybe that will resonate with others.

I’m going to start by cataloguing my journey and testing out a theory I’ve developed.  The theory of the 3Ps.   The belief that happiness rests on whether or not a person has Power, Passion, and Purpose in their lives.  Even the absence of one can lead a person to apathy, depression, and restlessness.  That’s it.  It’s that simple and its that hard.  Have the 3Ps in everything you do, then love, money, and joy will follow.  If you are lucky enough to already have those things in your life then implement the 3ps to improve the quality of what you have.

So here I am. I’m Kelley. A slightly directionless social worker who’s been losing her mind one day at a time since 24 when I thought I was living the life of my dreams.  I was in a job I thought I would retire from.  I lived in the exact townhouse on a river I dreamed of since a teenager, and I was teaching African American Studies at a University. I thought I was set.  But within three years I was unemployed, depressed, and relocating.  Most importantly I was devastated and clueless as to how this happened to me.   Ten years of reflection later I realized that over those three fateful years I lost all three of the important “Ps” in my life.  Forensic social work was my passion from a little girl.  I started my work in the prison system feeling empowered and that I had a purpose to reach out and connect with black men.  However, somewhere along the path I lost myself and all of those goals. Its been a long hard ten years of me trying to get it all back and find meaning this struggle.

So join me on my journey to embrace life, one “P” at a time.  I will rise and more often than not I will fall but I believe at the end I will solidly be on the road to where I want to be.  I am out of my mind, but I have a feeling its just in time.